Wonderland
by Maka Rishona -REAL
Summary: What if Ichigo had Schizophrenia, a mental disorder which makes her see and hear things that weren't really there? Set 4 years after the battle, Ichigo finds herself in her own world of magic, one much similar to the fairytale, Wonderland...


_**Hey, everyone, I got another idea, sooooo here we are! Please R&R and enjoy!**_

"Stop it...Please stop... I SAID STOP!" I mumbled to myself, grabbing my head as my voice increasingly gets louder. Why won't it stop...? That- that voice... It's been there all my life. Controlling me, mentally scaring me... It told me things about people- about my friends.

It told me about Kisshu's past. It told me how his parents died...How they were murdered. About how Pai and Taurto's parents adopted him and forced him into the military. It told me about Ryou, and how his house was burnt to the ground, killing both of him parents and his un-born brother, at a very young age. It told me how Mint's parents neglected her, and focused all of their attention on her older brother. It told me how Lettuce's mother was killed by cancer, and how she spent all of her free time researching, so that maybe she could prevent others from meeting the same fate. It told me about Pudding's parents abandonment after she was molested by a family friend. They looked at her as if she was a disease- a virus. It hurt her so bad. She didn't understand why they didn't hold her or hug her, or why they didn't kiss her forehead and say "I love you." at night. Zakuro was raised in an orphanage, it said once. It talked about how hard she worked for everything she had. It would whisper what a pathetic waste of space I was. Sure, my life on the outside didn't seem so bad, but no one knew of this voice, this thing in my head. It was horrible having to deal with it every waking moment, It also told me things about myself. It told he what would happen with the cat DNA. It had been vague, though. It told me something 'life-changing' would happen. The voice described how Ayoama-Kun wasn't who I thought he was. I was also made aware that he would be the death of me. Of course, I didn't believe any of this.

I thought it had gone away after the final battle, but I was clearly wrong... It was only a whisper, but I recognized it all-the-same. It told me Kisshu was dead. I pushed the thought aside; there was no way that could possibly be true. No more than a week later, I got a call from Ryou. Kisshu died of a human illness (Flu) that he contracted while on Earth. Since this did not exist on his planet, he had no immunity to it. I never cried as hard as I did that day. Because I knew there was no way I could save him. And I knew that the voice was smiling. Oh, yeah, it's not just a voice. It has a body. It lives in a dimension where it can only reach me. It took me there a few times while I slept.

Isn't it funny how out of the 7.046 billion people in the world, it chose me... I can't really talk to anyone about it, either. They would just give me some pills that didn't work. Thanks to my DNA differing from that of an average human, medication reacts differently for me. Instead of healing me, it only makes my illness worse. So, for my 17 years of life, I have kept 'it' to myself and only myself. To be honest, it didn't really bother me before that first date with Ayoama-Kun. After that, it started whispering to me. It was so silent that I hardly even noticed it. But as I fought more and more, it began to get louder and louder. It started screaming, and I would scream back. No one noticed. I looked into it one day, I found a page about people who are Schizophrenic. It talked about vivid hallucinations, seeing things that aren't there, hearing things. But, it didn't make sense! This thing was real! Why couldn't anyone else see that?

I figured this was something that I could push aside. If I ignored it, it would go away. This clearly wasn't the case...

In my 15th year, just when I had found out Kisshu died, I was on the verge of loosing my sanity. Nothing was going right. That- that monster was getting worse. It showed me itself to me... It was terrifying- he was terrifying... I couldn't really describe him, but hate radiated off of him like a heater. He thrived on fear and innocence... it was horrid... It told me his nae: Dexter. I had to escape, but there was no where to go. I couldn't escape my own mind... Could I? That's what started this path I am led on. I tried to create my own world. A reality away from reality, per say. It was great, my own Wonderland. Dexter couldn't get me there. And I preyed to God everyday, asking him that that thing couldn't get me- and I was safe. For awhile, anyway. Everything was god. But the more I developed the fantasy, the more controlled I became by it. The time I spent increased by the day. This proved to be hazardous. My beautiful land began to fall apart. The bright flowers started to wilt, and the ripe strawberries in the garden began to rot. I didn't understand what was happening. Were my demons finally catching up with me? As time progressed, things only got worse. I don't know what I did wrong... My friends tried to kill me... And when escaped, Dexter was always there, waiting for me. His evil sneer piercing through my flesh, targeting my soul. And that's where I am now. My Wonderland is broken, and Dexter is still here. He says he loves me... He holds me against my will. He touches me and I scream. Why can't anyone else see him? "Stop, please!" I yell again, begging.

"Shh... It's okay, dear..." He whispers in my ear. His hand slides up my shirt and I muffle a choked sob. God, please make it stop...

_**So, yeah, that's my short story fanfic where I talk about mental illness! Yay! Please Rate if you liked it, and if you didn't tell me what I could change! Thanks!**_


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